Thursday morning, it was finally time for the first phase of
competition to begin: interview. I have
always done well in interviews (I mean, I would not have been accepted into one
of the most competitive medical programs in the nation if I did not), so in
preparing for Miss Washington, the 10 minute interview with the panel of judges
was not a large concern of mine.
That morning, however, everything went to the dumps in my
preparation. I am truly not sure what
started it all, but my preparation (hair, makeup, clothes, mentality) quickly
became one of chaos and frantic scurrying.
I looked at the clock at one point, and realized that I had 20 minutes
before I was to be escorted down to the holding room (where you are kept for the 20
minutes prior to the interview beginning), but I still had way too many things
to do before I was ready. Then I got a
discouraging e-mail from one person, a bad text from another, in my running
about my toe nail got ripped off, and suddenly there was a knock at the door
telling me it was time to go….10 minutes early!! When I arrived at the holding room, I was so
stressed and frantic, poor Reina (Miss Yakima County who interviewed after me)
was trying her best to fix my hair and calm me down.
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| A very frazzled me 30 seconds before stepping into interview. BLEH! |
When my escort came to take me to the interview, I knew
instantly that I was in trouble in terms of my ability to eloquently answer
questions. But I smiled, and stood for
the first question: “As a woman going into medicine, do you think it is
possible to be successful in both raising a family and caring for your patients
as a physician?” I knew the answer to
this!! This was something I have thought
about time and time again, but yet I still talked myself in circles to an
eventual “yes”. What was I doing?! About five minutes into the ten minute
interview, a handful of butchered questions later, I knew that I had already
blown my chances for the entire weekend! (OKAY,
you absolutely CANNOT stop reading here, as this actually ends up not being
such a bad thing!! You MUST read day 6
and 7!!)
After waiting around with the other contestants for a few hours
(eating lunch, catching up on Facebook and having random dance parties), we
packed up and headed to the theater for talent run-through’s and dress
rehearsal.
The way talent run-through’s work is that you get one chance
on stage for a solid run through of the talent (complete with lights and microphones),
and then a five minute conference with your director, followed by a second
run-through. And then that’s it! No more; you’re done! This is also the first chance that the
contestants get to see one anothers’ talent, and admittedly, there is a fair
amount of “sizing up” going on.
As I was preparing for my first run through, I found myself
beyond nervous. I may have still been
wound up and discouraged from the morning’s interview, but suddenly I felt as
though I couldn’t breathe, my heart was pounding in my chest, my fingers would
not work, and my leg was shaking so badly I could not control my pedal
use. It was a full on anxiety attack! I have had a small number of anxiety attacks
in the past, but always with regard to important exams, and never surrounding
the concept of a stage performance. But
then again, a solo stage performance of this magnitude was entirely new to
me. As I worked my way through the 90
second piano piece, I stopped and started so many times, I eventually walked
off the stage choking back tears and incredibly humiliated.
After a delay involving a few deep breaths, I conferred with
my director (which basically included a “just give me another chance” and a “try
taking it really slow”), and was soon preparing for my second and final
attempt. The second time through was
better, but I was so nervous I cut the song out 15 seconds early. This was NOT a good sign!! And I was going to be going on stage for
competition with not a single successful run through that week – NOT GOOD!!! (BUT AGAIN, you CANNOT stop reading here!!!)
After talent run through, we did a full dress rehearsal
(minus talent), and then headed to bed for as much sleep as we could get
before preliminary competition the next day!
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| At dress rehearsal with our choreographer! |
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